who am i?

who am i? I am the kind of girl who has three blogging accounts on this website, and can never remember the password to the account i actually need. I am the kind of girl who cant make up her mind. What do i want to do with my life? Who do i want in my life? What kind of person do i wish i was? all questions i cannot answer. i am the kind of girl who works two jobs and goes to school. I bite my tongue and do what i am told, then i come home and yell at my mom. Not because i am ungrateful but because i am tired. oh-so-tired-of-everything/body. I am the kind of girl who likes to be unhappy to sit in her room and sulk about the way her life has turned out. finally one night i decide to blog and let it all out. i blog months apart i am never consistent. even though i love the feeling it brings me. though i know nobody will ever read it i pretend they do. i pretend the people i love can see what i am feeling. maybe ill have to learn what i am feeling first. i am barely kind of girl. The kind of girl who barely studies for tests. The kind who barely does her homework.barely pays attention at work. Barely shares her feelings. At times the kind of girl who barely speaks. i am a licensed cosmetologist afraid to pick up her sheers. Afraid to ask for help as i stare at my co-workers from behind the shampoo bowl. I am the kind of girl who works as a server and feels more at home than in her own house. I am the kind of girl that has never been to a rave a bar or a real high school party. The kind of girl who would rather stay in than meet new people. The kind of girl who still listens to her parents even though shes of legal age. I confide in my boyfriend for everything. He is my bestfriend my boyfriend, my advice giver, my comforter, my lover, my shoulder to cry on. He listens to me and he understands me, but i worry that i will drive him away like i did all the others. i am a needy kind of girl. i need to feel loved to be touched and to feel welcome to feel wanted. i have so much of him but still i want more i need more. i want an engagement a marriage a family a life together. i know i am young and foolish, but its what i want. what i need. I am the kind of girl who dreams of running away starting my life over with a new name and new hair. i could live life on the edge. i could be wild and dangerous. i could be heartless and crazy. i could move along from town to town and never get bored. or i could sit in my room and blog. to be honest im the kind of girl who likes to blog.