Friend

I cant breathe knowing ill never touch you again never see your smile or hear my name come out of your mouth. i gave you my heart and you broke it beyond repair. I just need to hear your voice one last time. just hold me one last time promise everything will be alright i just need a friend to pick me up. im falling so fast and now i don't know where to turn i just need a friendly face to pull me out of this never ending hell.

My name is Sarah

My name is Sarah I am but three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid, I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better, I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my Mommy Would still want to hug me. I can't speak at all, I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up All the day long. When I awake I'm all alone The house is dark My folks aren't home. When my Mommy does come I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight. Don't make a sound! I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar. I hear him curse My name he calls I press myself Against the wall. I try and hide From his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry. He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words, He says its my fault That he suffers at work. He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And I run for the door. He's already locked it And I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall. I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken. "I'm sorry!" I scream But its now much too late His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate. The hurt and the pain Again and again Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door, While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor. My name is Sarah And I am but three, Tonight my daddy Murdered me.

Annie

Today i want to talk about a movie i saw the other night. it was a story of a 14 year old girl who met a guy online they talked everynight and he gave her compliments and told her how special she was and how much he liked her and that they should meet up. Annie then finds out that her crush isnt a junior in high school he is much much older old enough to be her dad. but she still agrees to meet up with him at the mall. most people would say that Annie's a stupid girl and should have ran as soon as she knew the age diffrence but she didnt. Annie really likes the man "Charlie" as she knows him as. At first when she sees in person how much older Charlie is than her shes scared and taken back but they get to talking and before she knows it shes getting in his car. he takes her back to his hotel with him where he has sex with her and even though Annie knows somthing is really wrong and she is uncomfterble she lets it happen. Everyone must be watching the movie screaming at the TV what a stupid girl she is. But Annies not stupid Annie was raped. after the night at the hotel Annie doesnt hear back from Charlie and shes very hurt so she goes to talk to a friend. She tells her friend how shes in love with Charlie despite the age diffence but her friend sences somthing is very wrong so she proceedes to tell the principal. and before Annie could realize whats happening her secret is out and everyones disappointed. Even though everyone is looking to put Charlie in jail Annie still protects him and continues to believe she was not raped or taken advantage of. Finally a detcive is able to link Charlie back to three other girls about Annies age one being only twelve years old. It takes seeing the pictures of these girls for Annie to finally step back and realize whats happend to her. it took her months to realize that shes been raped. many people will say that Annie should have been smarter and thats very true she should have known but its very hard to understand Annies situation if you havent been in it. I went through somthing very similar i was 16 and he was nearly 22 and i thought he liked me i really did. i thought he was so great and so diffrent from everybody. he told me everything i wanted to hear and i didnt care about the age diffrence. i thought what we had was real. but i was wrong. wrong. wrong. its hard to see that somthings wrong when it seems so right. its hard to have an outside perspective when its happening to you. I was just like "stupid Annie" young and insecure i didnt see him for what he really was i didnt know what he was doing to me i didnt understand because he faked so well. and it took alot of hurting to see him for what he truley was. these guys are professionals at telling girls what they want to hear and because were so young we actually believe it. This is for all the girls who have even been fooled or lied to. for all the girls who gave it up too young to someone who didnt deserve them. all the girls who have had theyre lives taken from them by a man like Charlie. Be. stronger. than. that. When a guy seems tooo good to be true he probably is. Theres a reason he's not with soemone his own age.

just give me one more chance to make it right i wont go home without you

Everynight i cry my self to sleep thinking why does this happen to me? why does everything have to be so hard for me to believe? but its. not. over. tonight.

Little Again

So i sit here on my laptop reading all my old posts nearly three years later....theres so much i didnt know so many things i thought i would have done by now what happend to all the time? people always told me not to rush into growing up i wish i listened. if i could go back now id do it all diffrently. i sit here and think about all the people who have touched my life and all the people who left it. even someone i only knew for the short cruise i went on a few years ago, or the boys i used to like, or the guy behind me in the lunch line who paid for my lunch when i couldnt, my older friends who have graduated and moved onto college, i'll never see them again. People leave from my life almost evey day and it feels like more people leave it then come into it. nothing scares me more than ending up alone. even though someone tells me im not alone i still feel it. the more time passes the more people i will lose. what happend to catching snowflakes on our toungues, and having lemonade stands in the summer, swinging so high our sneakers punch holes in the clouds, when our biggest problem was someone stealing our favorite crayon? I spent so much time wanting to grow up, wanting to drive cars and kiss boys start highschool and be prom queen i guess i never noticed all the things i was leaving behind... like my favorite green dress that i wore until it was much much MUCH to small, sleeping in my moms bed when i was scared, my sisters and i dancing around the house with our stuffed animals everytime christmas rolled around, oh my sisters...what id give to be little again. we stayed up talking everynight and then stay up whispering after we got yelled at for being to loud. i got to have a sleepover with my two bestfriends every single night....and now even though we live under the same roof its like we barely know eachother. we shared everything in that room, from skirts and socks to stories of our first crushes. i remember all the dumb things wed fight over like barbie clothes and who got to sleep on the top bunk. now i look at you.... my baby sister having a baby of her own... im sorry that i wasnt there for you when you got your heart broken or when you couldnt stand to live at home or when you started haning out with the wrong girls....when you got pregnant....im sorry i wasnt there for you when you needed me. Im sorry i didnt let you sleep on the top bunk when we were little, and that i didnt let you play with my friends, that i moved out of our room, that i dunked your baby doll in the toilet, that i told on you every chance i got. if i could be little again i promise this time id do it all diffrently.