His name is Anton

Today is my 18th birthday. Finally the day I've been waiting for all my life when I'm finally considered an adult and I'm finished with high school. To be honest I'm terrified. It really scares me that I don't know where I'm going to be in a year or two much less five. But one good thing came out of all the years I struggled in school...WISDOM who knew you could learn from school. Not just from an education either but from relationships with my peers teachers and family. It's crazy to think how different my life is now and all the things that have changed. Like my baby nephew Noah. I never saw that coming. I never thought my sister and Ed would outlast me and Alan but here they are. And now that I don't have Alan holding me back I see the world so much differently and I can actually be happy and feel part of my family. Even though I don't always get along with them ill always love them. My sister and I have become so close since she had Noah closer than I ever thought we would be. Noah is just my world he makes me so happy I knew I'd love him but I never imagined so much. I didn't get to share much of the joys in preparing for him coming into the world but I'm so glad that he did. I often thought about suicide before he was born I thought he wouldn't need me or he'd be better off without me. But I am so glad that I met him and am so glad that I am his god mother. He is for sure the reason I am here today I love him with all of my heart. And speaking of love... I met this guy he is best friends with my sisters boyfriend and he is just so perfect for me. I thought I knew love and happiness but I had no idea. And even tho I still have a lot of stress to this day I can honestly say I'm in the best place I've been in in a long time. This guy is so special to me and he makes me feel special. I really couldn't have asked for anyone better. He is so sweet and really cares for me. He goes out of his way to do things for me and its so nice to have found someone who wants to give as much as I do. That's how I know this love is real you have to have a give and take relationship if only one person gives it will never work. He makes me just beyond happy I really see a future with him. I don't have to wonder about if he feels the same for me because I know he loves me as much as I love him I can feel it in his words and the way he looks at me. Not only does he say that he loves me but he actually shows it. Do you have any idea he hard that is to find? I'm so happy that he came into my life and that we get to be god parents together. He keeps me sane he's always there for me to talk to and that's all I ever needed was someone to share things with and someone to just be by my side no matter how dumb the reason. Someone who won't pick fights with me or try to control me. Someone who loves me for who I am and wants to share things with me. Someone who I can trust and count on to be there for me. Someone who genuinely cares about my happiness and wants to share their happiness with me. And that's exactly who he is. His name is Anton and he is perfect I couldn't have asked for anyone better. I love his face and his laugh. I love his smile and he has the most amazing eyes I've ever seen. I love being in his arms and I know he loves having me there that's the best part of it all. I've never felt so loved or wanted before. I thought I'd been in love before but now that I see what life with Anton is like I know that what I had wasn't love. Love isn't one sided. Love is shared between to people who truly care and want the best for each other. They put the other person before their own needs that's what love is and I'm so happy to have found it with him. I hope that we will last forever but even if we don't I just want to be able to say that I made him happy for as long as I possibly could and that I had a big impact on his life and hopefully will always be apart of it. If not as boyfriend and girlfriend then as god parents because he is so different from anyone I've met and I always want to have him in my life. Today is my birthday and I know he is going to make it so special for me. I can't wait to spend many more birthdays with him. And even though he's only been in my life a few months I know that he isn't going anywhere for a long time. He is just so perfect for me. I love you Anton. Thank you for showing me true genuine love and the way a relationship is supposed to be. I hope that I will always be as important to you as you are to me. <3 p="">