Papa

Vincent "Squeeks" Collaro May 10th 1938 - Febuary 26th 2013

My grandfather was probably the greatest man in my life. He was so funny just everything he did was funny. He was also very very strong. He survived with leukemia for years most of my life i didn't even know that he had it. He never liked to admit that he needed help or that he was in pain. Days before he was put in the hospital for the last time he was golfing. He loved to golf and wanted all of his sons and grandsons to golf, but only his oldest grandson pursued it as a career he teaches young men to golf still. Anyways my papa was strong real strong. the problem with leukemia is that you lose alot of blood your white blood cells eat it up. On his last hospital visit he was given over 14 bags of blood but it wasn't enough. his blood was rare he was O negative but the problem was he had antibodies in his blood so it was extremely difficult to match it. The blood wasn't working so eventually he had to be put on machines i went to visit him my dad told me that i should talk to him and tell him anything i wanted him to know i walked over to his side and looked down at him. a tube down his throat forcing him to breathe watching his chest fall and rise with forced air his eyes closed. he looked so fragile and i didn't want to see him that way. i tried to find some words but nothing would come out. i managed to say a faint hi papa before i burst into tears i had to leave. i spent the rest of the day in the waiting room crying on and off until the doctor came in to talk to our family. the doctor told us that his liver was failing and that they were pretty sure his intestine  had broken open he was unable to breathe on his own and at some point he had suffered a heart attack. so even if all of those problems went away he was still fighting an aggressive case of leukemia. they decided to have another meeting the next day at 11 that's probably when they would pull the plug. me my dad my sister and brother left the hospital after that. i remember just crying after we left i felt so stupid for not being able to say anything to him i said i wish i could have just found my words in my head. and in that moment my dad gets a phone call that my papa was having a heart attack. we were about ten minuets away so we quickly turned around. we had got there just in time. they took the tube out of his throat my entire family was there my nanie(his wife) my dad and uncle Vinnie (his sons) Vinnie Joey Michael (his grandsons) and Marissa Franchesca and me (his granddaughters). we watched as he took his last breaths. i saw my grandmother sobbing by his side. i saw my family cry like never before. after he was gone i got the chance to tell him goodbye and that i missed him i even kissed his cheek. that's an opportunity that most people don't get. and i almost missed it. i will always believe that that was god giving me a second chance to say goodbye to him. whenever i feel like life isn't worth living i think back to some of the worst moments in my life and how God has helped me through it. i know that god has a plan for me and that things happen for a reason. My papa is in a much better place now and my memories of him will last forever. There were so many people at his wake and the line of cars following his casket was ridiculously long. miles long. he was such an amazing man with so many people who cared for him. he will live on in our hearts forever.

I love you papa