Little Again

So i sit here on my laptop reading all my old posts nearly three years later....theres so much i didnt know so many things i thought i would have done by now what happend to all the time? people always told me not to rush into growing up i wish i listened. if i could go back now id do it all diffrently. i sit here and think about all the people who have touched my life and all the people who left it. even someone i only knew for the short cruise i went on a few years ago, or the boys i used to like, or the guy behind me in the lunch line who paid for my lunch when i couldnt, my older friends who have graduated and moved onto college, i'll never see them again. People leave from my life almost evey day and it feels like more people leave it then come into it. nothing scares me more than ending up alone. even though someone tells me im not alone i still feel it. the more time passes the more people i will lose. what happend to catching snowflakes on our toungues, and having lemonade stands in the summer, swinging so high our sneakers punch holes in the clouds, when our biggest problem was someone stealing our favorite crayon? I spent so much time wanting to grow up, wanting to drive cars and kiss boys start highschool and be prom queen i guess i never noticed all the things i was leaving behind... like my favorite green dress that i wore until it was much much MUCH to small, sleeping in my moms bed when i was scared, my sisters and i dancing around the house with our stuffed animals everytime christmas rolled around, oh my sisters...what id give to be little again. we stayed up talking everynight and then stay up whispering after we got yelled at for being to loud. i got to have a sleepover with my two bestfriends every single night....and now even though we live under the same roof its like we barely know eachother. we shared everything in that room, from skirts and socks to stories of our first crushes. i remember all the dumb things wed fight over like barbie clothes and who got to sleep on the top bunk. now i look at you.... my baby sister having a baby of her own... im sorry that i wasnt there for you when you got your heart broken or when you couldnt stand to live at home or when you started haning out with the wrong girls....when you got pregnant....im sorry i wasnt there for you when you needed me. Im sorry i didnt let you sleep on the top bunk when we were little, and that i didnt let you play with my friends, that i moved out of our room, that i dunked your baby doll in the toilet, that i told on you every chance i got. if i could be little again i promise this time id do it all diffrently.